Christian, Catholic, Mystic, Hermit: A Fascinating Interchange, Rabbit Hole, and Worthwhile Words from St. John Cassian

In recent days (as well in past times, off and on) I'd gotten myself tweaked by and reacting to something another had written on a blog.  The writing touched upon a topic and comments were made to which I know from my lived experience to be not as I have experienced or know from my being labeled many times over, a "mystic", but more so from God providing through of all persons, my mother who on earth did not appreciate Catholicism, to state it softly.  In that book I found my people, my types, the ones who were on earth like my own self who had been also labeled different--good, but different, nice but different, wonderful, special, but unlike anyone they'd ever known.  And some in the Catholic world, were more harsh, labeling me weird and odd, crazy,, with no compliments attached.

I'd gotten myself involved, writing on my blog site the past few posts on the topic, discussing labels; and they simply do not matter, not to His Real Presence nor to any in heaven, and won't to me or you in heaven, either.  The person wrote and wanted to have a back-and-forth online discussion of the labels, use citations of "scholars" and those who are labeled experts on the topic.  But do what their opinions and thoughts, rational and intelligent as they are, much research done--and plenty of scholars disagreeing on the labels--matter since the labels are being interchanged consistently and have been for awhile now? 

Too late to put the cat back in the bag, and that, I realized, is not His Real Presence's will for me, not His will for my mission and purpose, regardless of the mystic label that priests and the like have given to describe my type.  But it's the what the very persons themselves of the past, given that label, who have helped me understand my like-kind, no matter what we are called. Nor does it matter that others are called that label who may not be that to which the label a long time ago had meaning and certain attributes now blurred. 

I learned many lessons in throughout the consideration of debate or argument of the labels, scholarly and opined both, with my input being mostly that of personal experience as being one of the labels. I wrote in another post of how easily I got off track. Off track from what His Real Presence wills of me, and what I  most enjoy in writing--and found I do not at all enjoy debating on labels that scholars and those deemed experts do not agree on.  All I have is my lived experience and these others of which I was first introduced to in the book my late mother had sent me prior to my becoming a Catholic.  The book she would likely not have purchased had the author used "St." or "Bl" in front of all but one of the persons's names in the anthology of autobiographies, titled, Enduring Grace: Seven Women Mystics."  

That was my introduction to "mystic" other than my former husband in a letter left the day he left us, had listed out what bothered him to the point of dislike and hate, that he did not like nor understand my "mysticism". I had to look up the word in the dictionary--was way before internet. The definition was not concrete, words about mysterious and ethereal, etc.  I did not see that of me.  But reading the seven women's lives--I had a major awareness and rejoicing of finding my people, my friends who understood me and I understood them!

The previous blog explains further, that the labels nor discussion agreeing or not, does not interest me for it is not going to matter relative to my life today or going forward, nor in heaven--whatever label I am or if people know the difference in the labels' now being used interchangeably, or if they think or try what is not my experience nor that of those I hold dear, my friends who in life and in our temporal world are yet labeled as "mystics".  It simply does not matter in the long run, and it definitely is not what I'm to be writing about or I'd sense that combination of joy, peace, and purpose fulfilled for His Real Presence, within me.  Instead, I've been writing about that which has been not at all uplifting nor seemingly all that beneficial for you my blog readers nor any of us in what His Real Presence most truly wills of us!

I wrote, as I feel it is my penance to be humbled and for my divergence too much into the weeds of temporal labels that are not even set, and as to defining what is a mystic, even the definitions on line do not capture or are not accurate in some ways.  Words can't concisely define what of itself is nebulous and ineffable as much as mystics' lives and experiences are often either ineffable or filled with downright bizarre--and not always positive, temporal experiences which defy normalcy even in temporal mindsets.

[My apologies and gratitude.]

 I am sorry that I got involved, anyway, with the topic, as the bevy of writers who weigh in and interchange terms is beyond any distinction of this, that, or the other and not at all of any concern in heaven.  I've been much ado about nothing: of labels of earth, and one that I have been given years ago, not labeled by His Real Presence, but by temporal priests, religious sisters, Catholic people, and a bishop and abbot, holy as they all may be!  But I encountered my "type" prior to being brought into the Church, yet at the time I became Catholic was reassuring (for I'm not sure what other than to have a label that is often interchanged with other labels).  

It does not matter because it simply does not!  Back then it only mattered because it mattered to temporal Catholic Church.  What mattered to me was finding in books those who are like me and could teach me much and be true friends.  So in a debt of gratitude for the topic and my reacting to and giving my written input, I have come around to understanding all the more what matters in what His Real Presence wants of me, and reminds of my purpose and mission, of which the labels do not matter, for this my life is as it is, and living it out in His will is what matters.

So I apologize on one hand for involving in the discussion, but on the other hand I am grateful because it led me to realize what matters and what does not, in my own mission and purpose God wills of me and has from before birth and to which I accepted and agreed--even if the temporal Church may not approve of my experience.  It's not as if I'm seeking others' approval, just sharing my spiritual progression as my blog blip suggests.  Perhaps those who would not approve on earth might change their perspectives in heaven.  Won't matter then.  We all will be about His Real Presence and loving as God loves, then!  My challenge is to strive to do better, in and by His grace, to live out what earth time is left, in what does matter.

And now a stern not to myself: Do not read others' blogs, particularly when the purposes of the blogs differ in that the writers are other-purposed, also.  Write in the vacuum. of the stillness and solitude within my hermitage temporal and the hermitage within my mind, heart, and soul.  

I did learn, and not to be unkind but honest, that one can discover a great deal about a person's kindness by their actions, and what they write or say.  For a hermit who says is approved, to write to me and say has been too busy with appointments to delete my name in total from the person's blog, when I've requested in past times to not use my personal name or locale, and requested my name be removed this time, makes me question some basic qualities of simple virtue and focus. 

I then myself fall into temptation to question and even be tempted to judge.  Yet we may and ought to discern, and then decide for ourselves if this is a person we'd want to be involved with at any level other than to love the soul and desire with all one's heart to pray and wish the person to be in Heaven someday, and pray for all goodness for him or her on earth.  And this I should love and pray and desire for everyone.  A hermit cannot be drawn off by others, which I fell into from that brief online interaction and the unpleasant idiosyncratic human issue with it. 

It is sad to consider how much of His Real Presence's time--the time He gives me, is squandered--except for my recognizing it this time, and my repentance for doing so.  I don't even know what possessed me to look at the person's blog of which we've not usually agreed on much--other than if His Real Presence I learned a lesson, and if the evil one who figured I'd get caught up in what does not matter, I learned a lesson. 

So I learned another lesson, and am currently more aware of how labels don't matter, not the mystic one, not for my purpose and mission.  I've been progressed through one passageway, more temporal, and am on another passageway not so temporal, although my writing will include my temporal life and my humanness for this is all part of one's spiritual progression to His Real Presence, who is within us and we are in Him.

[Just see the amount of words, especially lengthy when a topic of which it is not worthwhile to readers, repetitive and of no consequence: Does not matter!  Shameful!  Add to it being physically sick for six weeks of sinus infection, and the result is tedium and words far beyond worth!]

Enjoy the following written by St. John Cassian. (c.360-435)  I should have spent all the time I did writing about the labels instead, reviewing absorbing what Cassian wrote, and especially the references to His Living Word within Cassian's thought "On spiritual knowledge, ch. IX: SC 54 (Conferences VIII-XVII).

In every respect be “quick to hear but slow to speak” lest there befall you what Solomon mentions: “If you see a man who is quick with words, know that a fool has more hope than he.” (Pr 29:20 LXX). Nor should anyone presume to teach in words what he has not previously done in deeds. Our Lord taught us by his own example that we should follow this order, as it is said, as it is said: “Which Jesus began to do and teach.” (Acts 1:1) Be careful therefore that you do not jump to teaching before you have acted and be counted among those of whom the Lord speaks to his disciples in the gospel: “Observe and do what they say but do not do according to their works. For they bind heavy burdens, hard to carry, and place them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves do not move them with their finger.” (Mt 23:4) For if the person “who breaks the least commandment and teaches people so shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven,” it follows that whoever neglects many great things and dares to teach is certainly not merely least in the kingdom of heaven but should be considered greatest in the punishment of Gehenna.

Therefore, you should be careful lest you be stirred to teach by the example of those who have acquired skill in speaking and a fluent tongue and who are believed by those who are unable to discern its power and character to possess spiritual knowledge because they can say whatever they want elaborately and at length. For it is one thing to speak with ease and beauty and another to enter deeply into heavenly sayings and to contemplate profound and hidden mysteries with the most pure eye of the heart, because certainly neither human teaching nor worldly learning but only purity of mind will possess this, through the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit.