With but an hour and half, approximately, remaining in what I realized would be 72 hours of praying for all the souls I've ever hurt or who have felt hurt by me, I am also praying for all my "loves"--any and all souls on earth and on the other side, in heaven and all souls in progression toward. Souls of persons I've known or those I've encountered without really knowing, have been brought to mind.
But the main focus of my prayers of love have been for those in more recent encounters, including ones that it is best to be on our ways, on our paths, our interactions no longer necessary or particularly, further beneficial for either of us, for whatever of various reasons. In this regard, of the more recent persons/situations negative, and my praying, yet more insights and inspirations come.
Besides grasping that we are called to love all souls, and to love God in Himself, and to love as God loves us and others, what the Apostle John states in his First Letter (4:7-9) has me asking, "What is love?"
"Beloved, let us love one another, because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God. Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love. In this way the love of God was revealed to us: God sent His only Son into the world so that we might have life through him."
And here is an answer from St. John's First Letter (4:10). "In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as expiation for our sins."
I am reminded of what gifts from the Holy Spirit this Epiphany. Yes, to love all souls--because they are beloved souls created by God, regardless the flaws and sins of all souls on earth and those on other side who are yet in progression, learning to love and evolving in perfection. Because love is of God, we are able to love all souls. When we love all souls, it is because we are begotten by God. In loving all souls, we grasp, we know God Who is Love.
St. John explains that if we are without love, we thus are essentially without God--we do not know God. We do not know God if we do not love, for God is love. It makes sense; this is logical fact. We can understand that if we love in part, we know God in part. A little or immature love, then we know God a little, our love of Him is immature. The more we love, the more we come to know God. The reason we are able to love at all, is due to God being love.
Yes, but the Apostle further states what, in this, is love, by first positing what of love is not--not that we have loved God--that is not the means of love or the essence of God's love. God's love exists within His love for us; and His love for us is invested in, resides in, the fact and reality of His sending His Son as expiation [expiate: atone for, pay for, make amends for] for our sins.
So as I love and love to learn to love all souls--more fully, in greater than ever understanding of what it is to love, why I love, and how it is I am able to love all my infinite loves--I love because God loves me perfectly, infinitely, fully; and God's love is inter-related in, subsumed with the act of sacrificing His Son Jesus--sending Jesus to make atonement for our sins. God essentially makes reparation Himself by offering Himself to pay our debt of our sins.
What does this mean for my loving all God's beloved souls, all God's beloved creation, loving God in Himself?
I must ponder this more, rest in this Scripture and in these truths. The higher degree of my own bodily, human suffering this afternoon will assist, for I have come to understand that my suffering of body--the pain today quite high because I loved one of my infinite loves this morning, and drove and sat for over an hour with a soul I love. Thus the radiating pain through to the abdomen has the rest of this human body exhausted and sick-feeling. I sometimes wonder if a particular suffering will be the one that I suffer unto blood, that I suffer unto death of my temporal body and release of my mind, heart (emotion) and spirt to pass over into blissful joy and being subsumed in vast, incessant, God Is Love.
How is it that it is that God's love for us and His sacrificing Himself in His Son to pay for our debt of sins, that I am thus able to love all other souls, to love all God's creation, to love God in Himself? A grace, a miracle--all this. The reality vastly transforms my suffering, the purpose of it, the value of it. Even so, I am trying to get some help, some answers, a plan for the added suffering. But the suffering itself along with the fatigue and pain, is helping me comprehend more intrinsically than with my mind, how it is that God essentially sacrificed Himself, in His Son Jesus Christ, as remission for our sins, to purify us, to make it feasible for us to have full union with God, with Love, for God Is Love.
I pray to love all as God loves, and to offer myself the more in union with Christ's suffering and expiatory sacrifice--for mine and all of our sins. Thus, when I consider my sins as well as those who sin against God and against mankind and against God's creation, therein lies the painful joy of love and suffering, suffering and love.
All the more, the ones who have been difficult to "love", are now easy to love, beautiful to love, meaningful to love. As God loves us, I can love all others because of His love of me and His gift of Jesus Christ in my life, and the reason my sins are forgiven, are remitted in full.
An aspect of such intentional prayer and the epiphany is of deeply grasping more than ever in my life thus far--how I am called to love all souls, and to do so in the power of God's love of us all and Jesus' dying to make love of God and others possible, by our sins being forgiven, washed away, our souls prepared for union with God eternally.
Another aspect of such a spiritual breakthrough, such a grace-filled liberation and powerful love of God, by God, and love of God's beloved creations, is that the devil revolts. I've had to take a difficult course last night regarding freeing a soul and being freed, myself, to progress in the vocations we each are given, of which their differences do not mesh other than in prayer. Also, the deception of mind, heart, and soul, of temporal incidence, requires a shifting, and is a reminder of purpose for being in this life, in this particular moment and point in temporal time. My purpose is other than the other; we each must proceed in God's plan for us.
Then there is another situation--fully expected although unfortunate in some ways, more so. But I continue to pray and to love that soul all the more. Deception is also in that one, and it is not of God. But I am able to love so deeply and profoundly as never before, with greater compassion and understanding, because of God's merciful love of me, and of His sending Jesus who suffered and died for my sins and for the sins of all souls.
I'm praying if in this situation, it is time for further action beyond the updates now and then. But this evening I'm realizing that of course the devil would erupt in some of those I am now loving so very much, uniting with Christ in the offering of suffering inherent in love! God's love is greater than all else we could possibly fathom! Love can include as the Apostle has expressed, a sacrifice, a going forth in love's expiatory function, mercy, grace. For now, this seems best on my part, to love as God loves. The devil means nothing in the glorious reality of God Is Love.
God bless His Real Presence in us!
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