Catholic Hermit: Follow Naked, the Naked Christ

The Lord has spoken, in this consecrated Catholic hermit's consideration of His hermit having a pet. 

(I love the verses in 1 Samuel in which the young Samuel continues to be awakened, hearing the voice of God calling his name.  Samuel being young and inexperienced in locutions or the Lord speaking directly to him, goes to the priest Eli, thinking it is he who called him in the night.  Finally Eli realizes that it is the Lord calling Samuel; he instructs the youth to answer if called again, saying, "Speak, Lord, your servant is listening.")

So it is that I have, over the years, when faced with a decision or even when not, repeat this line in my inner senses, asking the Lord to speak to me, and that I am listening.  When we ask the Lord to help us in discerning the aspects of our lives, not only may we ask the Lord to help us, to speak to us, to show us in whatever ways the Lord may choose, our major effort then is to listen.

Listening is not easy in the temporal world, and it is definitely not easy in the spiritual sense, as our thoughts and feelings are so aroused and integrated with many of the decisions we face.  Yet, when we persist in prayer and do all we can to still our thoughts and feelings, or at least to list pro's and con's, and seek some input from others, we can then in the silence of our more stilled minds and hearts, hear God's answer in the stillness of our souls.

A few days ago someone had contacted me, wanting counsel on a dilemma faced.  I wrote back, mentioning first of all:  Die to yourself!  Then I analyzed the person's situation, in the way I tend to do, pulling out all bits of realities that may be cluttering the person's viewpoints, and sparing no effort in being honest even to the details of what may be emotionally affecting the person's thoughts and feelings regarding the dilemma.  Yes, in this I risk the person being upset, for often we humans do not want to do deep cleaning and seeking of our inner "houses".  So easy for us to want to stuff feelings down, hide away realities, deny truths and avoid the dying to self of which we Christians are called in following Christ.

The person contacted me, explained dies to self daily in giving of self to family.  Yes, I had prodded the inner recesses, and I soothed some, for there also was a temporal reality in which the person felt there was not time to literally clean out a lot of clutter that had accumulated in their abode over the years, and especially, as I pointed out, in the several years of some major health calamities that their family faced and lived through.  So there are quite valid reasons involved in decisions, and I pointed out the factual aspects, and that it is quite fair enough to make a decision based on the external realities--but that the person knows when asking me for counsel, that there will be a thorough examination so that the person may get to all facets of what may be troubling the person.

The person understood, and we were able to discuss that of dying to self, and of course, that I am called to do that, myself, often.  But in the person's case, other factors helped make the decision needed to be made.  Ironically, though, since our communication, circumstances have changed, and the person has taken steps that were part of the examination of facets of the dilemma the person faced.  Someone is helping to get their abode tidied despite a few days remaining before a type of deadline.  God handles all aspects of our lives when we ask and then listen.  Input from others is helpful in deeper examination of our dilemmas, as trusted others will be honest with us.

Yes, some people seek out those who will tell them what they want to hear and who will support them no matter, not wanting to stir the waters or in some cases, poke a bear!  Each of us, if we tend to be ones of whom others now and then seek counsel, must ask the Lord and listen, what is our role and duty according to His will.  Mine is to die to self even in this role of any seeking counsel:  honesty, intelligence, thorough examination, critical thinking, non-judgment, Scriptural backing, but reality therapy...!  They dying to self on my part includes being willing for those seeking my counsel, to react with upset, denial of the realities exposed, or even deciding to not seek counsel of me again.

We must consider the rich young man who asked Jesus for advice and counsel, with a question as to how he could get into the Kingdom of Heaven.  The young man was not able to accept the reality of the answer nor to do--at least at that time--what Jesus said was needed.  The young man walked away; Jesus watched as he walked away, but Jesus did not call after or chase after, nor did He dilute the reality of what would be needed.  Essentially, Jesus tells us we must die to ourselves, be able to part with the temporal possessions as well as the mental and emotional baggage:  all hindrances.

We must be willing to, able to, and in whatever situations that do arise--over time we must act on removing the hindrances, much as the person who contacted me is now getting help to remove the temporal clutter that had accumulated.  And there is no judgment by God nor should be by us; there are reasons why our possessions in, of body, mind, and heart pile up or accumulate.  And we then have situations present themselves, in which the Lord is asking us, allowing us, the opportunity to address the situations, the dilemmas, and to remove or give away or die to ourselves in some aspect or other, or to walk away from doing so, if we are unable yet or unwilling...at that time.

We do not know from Scripture if the young man who did not follow Jesus nor felt able to get rid of his "possessions" at that time when he asked Jesus what he needed to do to enter the Kingdom of God, that the young man did not later on, or in bits and pieces over course of his life, give away his "possessions" and without hindrances follow Jesus.  After all, we may follow Jesus even if we have many hindrances we are lugging along with us.  After awhile, we become weary or the hindrances too great of obstacles, and we may drop them off, one by one or many or eventually all or nearly so.  What we do not die to in this life, of which the mental and emotional attachments may be more challenging and burdensome than the temporal--we carry with us when we pass over.  Our choice!

So it is, that with my own dilemma of somehow having a latent need, or perhaps it was more a broader, hidden aspect and attachment, an inability to see a reality or accept a current reality--the Lord has definitively helped me let go, die to self, face the reality, make a choice in line with His will for me and of which He did not push nor dictate.  The Lord simply gave me some signals, in the end, as to my idea, my desire for having a pet in the hermitage and in my hermit daily life.

No.  I will not have a pet, nor will I ever in what earthly life is left for me, have a pet.  The Lord has for me a narrower path.  This path He increasingly narrows in my spiritual progression as a Christian, as a soul, a child of God, a victim soul of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, a parent of adult children and grandparent of three adolescent and teen grandchildren, in addition to my consecrated Catholic, eremitic life.

And I accept.  It was not without some mental and emotional pain.  Two persons gave input, suggesting a cat not a dog--unless I have allergies, which I do, and of course cats are not going to provide enforced walking as they do not take to leashes and hiking!  But the one person then was supportive, recognizing the functional and emotional reasons I had openly admitted as would be helpful.  But at the same time, the young woman (and her husband) who have these non-shedding, hypo-allergenic, larger breed pups, texted last night, as I lay in bed again, plenty of burning pain after having been up for awhile, making myself stay up and also increase stamina for sitting despite the pain that causes.

She texted that if I did decide against having the puppy, she would refund 80% of deposit.  Earlier in the day I had found out that there is a family who would really like the puppy, but of course there was no pressure on me.  I had wanted to know if a back-up person, for I have taken this decision seriously and a huge part of it was if the Lord wanted of me or feels of me Himself, that I am capable of the narrower path, the stricter separation from the world, the deeper silence of solitude, the higher points of the hermit vocation ideal, of the following of Christ in a type of utter nakedness.

What comes to mind is the ancient Christian ascetics motto:  Nudum Christum, nudus sequere.  Follow naked, the naked Christ. 

God did take pity on me, by my not having me "pay" a price in addition to facing a deep and intensely painful reality of His desires and expectations for me to detach all the more, to let go of connections to this temporal life as well as roots going way back to childhood.  There was a beloved dog.  I was the one to find him hanging, drowned--and the shock of that was immense for a child of a pet who had filled in some aspects of emotional blessing in the three years "Mel" was my faithful pal and enforcer of my tending and responsible care.  (Way back, I was very spiritual, always symbolic, so the pet's name well thought out by a little kid. Mel was named for Melchior, one of the three wisemen for whom I named him on Christmas Day, 1961.)

The main issue this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit has been contending with, the Lord needing me to expose from deep within and in the present moment, is facing and accepting my now consistently higher level of constant pain, the likely cessation of my intestines functioning, and the reality of God calling me to a higher ideal and level of all that is entailed in the hermit vocation, as well as my deeper commitment in following Christ, stripped to my core.

(However, I emphasize that there is nothing written in church documents or would be, that a hermit ought not have a pet.  A hermit having a pet may be a blessing in various ways, depending upon the hermit and in what phase or degree of unique way the Lord is leading the person, the hermit.)

The Lord is my comfort, my constant companion, my ALL.  In fact, throughout my forage into all the positives for my having a pet, the reminder of what has been an innate and Holy Spirit inspired utterance for fifteen years, kept playing in my mind.  My Love, my Love, my only Love!  The cross, the cross, and only the cross!  The Holy Spirit also reminded me that my hermitage is truly that of Solus Deus:  God alone!  This is not the first named thus of a hermitage.  My very first hermitage 20 years ago, had the "Solus Deus" sign hanging on my porch, a sign I will hang here but not visible to public.  I have learned what "hidden from the eyes of men" means within and why this phrase is included in what the Church desires and wisely challenges Her hermits to grasp, become, and remain.  Being hidden, for a hermit, is another dying to self.

(I plan to write about narcissism in hermits, and of how various pernicious disorders may arise when vices go uncorrected in anyone's soul, but how it is especially detrimental to hermit purpose and progression.)

So it is that this hermit will not ever have a pet.  Yes, I had an unexpected emotional reaction when I accepted the Lord's answer, when He nudged the seller to persist a bit, for I suspect they preferred the puppy to go to the family--and of course I think pets are best with more than one person, although I have pointed out the good of service and therapy animals.  To help with my sadness, as there is always some grieving in death, of which dying to self is very much a death, a loss, a letting go of some part of ourselves, I focused on the family last night, who would be--children especially--ecstatic with excitement that they were getting the puppy after all!  To focus all the more, I put into my imaging, my eldest child and her husband and two daughters, and I visualized their joy and excitement as if they were the family hearing the puppy news last night.

I'm praying to recognize my angel's efforts--doing all possible to help me get up and be more mobile physically.  However, I'm also willing to accept that the pain has me debilitated from fatigue.  Tomorrow I meet with the priest, and will find out who he has in mind as a spiritual director. It may work out or not; but we hermits ought remain open to trial and error in all aspects. 

I also will discuss with the priest who is older, wiser, and some knowledgeable of the mystics and more spiritually acute than others, how he views traditional, privately professed hermits as opposed to the publicly professed diocese hermits.  I realize readers continue to inquire, and there is contradictory information being promoted online, elsewhere, including created notions and terminology as if fact.  I will ask if he thinks I should also meet with the bishop, as well, to clarify what seem to be misconceptions and contradictions being promoted and created, online. 

(Perhaps he will think privately professed Catholic hermits ought sign after their names, "erem.cpp" or "erem.tcpp" or some such created designation to distinguish us from the "erem.dio" that has been created and promoted by someone or other in the past few years?  I jest, as attempts to advertise, identify, distinguish, or promote ourselves by creating initials, akin to what religious orders do of necessity due to different charisms and orders, to identify themselves, their group, is not a hermit tradition or practice, nor is it necessary whatsoever for any hermit, no matter if publicly or privately professed.  However, since there is now in the past recent years, the inclusion of publicly professed hermits, attached to particular dioceses, perhaps it is necessary for the two types of hermits to be distinguished, one from the other?  Fascinating and quite temporal topic and question.)

Now, forward and onward in the serious and legitimate focus of my mission and purpose as a consecrated Catholic hermit, a Christian, an eremite striving in following Christ on His narrow path, of dying to self increasingly--and thus not seriously or foolishly interested in adding initials following my name or any title or designation.  Nudum Christum, nudus sequere!

And, with that, also very much:  God Bless His Real Presence in us!