Just when I think it is ridiculous that I drone on in these blog posts, especially when I have mostly only dealing with suffering as content, and I consider it rather pointless to write, I notice an uptick in page views. Perhaps this small bit of writing, of sharing thoughts and aspects of life striving in life and seeking God despite so much self, is of some tiny help or interest to another.
It is kind of fun to see the various countries represented in readership. Today someone from Ukraine has been reading through several posts, and whether or not he or she sees this post which has nothing much in content other than the Scripture I am drawn to, currently, and will write out, I want to acknowledge the person who is living in Ukraine and is right now reading a Catholic hermit's blog posts. Hello to you in Ukraine! God bless His Real Presence in you!
A cousin has just called, also. There is more venting regarding the tedious and pathetic, persnickety, personality issues on-going, with the person's quite-aged mother. I was told not to call her mother, my aunt, for she is too tired. I had sent a note card, which was received, but the content not absorbed. The daughter told me her mother cannot think of other than her own aches and pains, of which she has been to the doctor for her dizziness.
At age 96 and six months, the aunt is all the more exhibiting the nervous mannerisms that have always been part of her temperament. I try to remind her daughter of this, and of some means of encouragement in trying to not get triggered by the pettiness that befalls those of us who feel sick and tired, and especially those who have not had to live with illness for the most part of their long lives.
I remind the cousin that I understand all that she is feeling and going through, for illness that goes on and on is frustrating especially when the person is thinking there can be some kind of help possible to feel better, or is upset that he or she cannot "do" anything. Well, the person can suffer. Yes, that is doing something; but not everyone is at that point of spiritual understanding. Nor are those closest to the person--the family members who are worn out from dealing with the frustrations that come with the suffering of people who rubbed the wrong way with temperament types and personality styles, or whatever it is that can wear thin over the years.
The cousin mentioned perhaps going to visit the mother once a week in the nursing home. I encourage that idea, but what do I know of much of it? If there is going to be more frustration, perhaps as well not. All that will unfold and transpire, however it does. The elderly one is going to have an MRI to see if some stroke or some type of issue with inner ear that occurs with the extremely aged which can cause some dizziness. It is not vertigo, at least.
But yes, one can suffer; that is "doing" something. And the one can go visit once a week--best if intention set as prayer, as omnia pro Deo, all for God. Put into life and offer to God and others, from one's poverty, our whole livelihood be it suffering our sufferings of this type or that--pain of body or pain of exasperating persons and situations. Our offerings of ourselves can come from love or from duty. I suppose if from duty, there is always the chance that duty might become that of selfless love, and selfless love become sanctified joy.
From Luke 21: 1-4:
"When Jesus looked up He saw some wealthy people
putting their offerings into the treasury
and he noticed a poor widow putting in two small coins.
He said, 'I tell you truly,
this poor widow put in more than all the rest;
for those others have all made offerings from their surplus wealth,
but she, from her poverty, has offered her whole livelihood.'"
Sometimes our whole livelihood comes from our poverty of feeling as if we cannot so much as tolerate one more phone call, text, or in-person visit or interaction with a tedious, complaining, insufferable suffering person who might even be forgetting that other people suffer, too. But I figure it is worth the try, to overcome ourselves.
Perhaps it is in that effort to overcome ourselves and put ourselves out a bit more--be it if we are the ones tediously, interminably suffering (maybe selfish in our suffering) or if we are the ones struggling to cope being in the frustrating presence of such persons--that we actually reach into our poverty and offer our whole selves, even if our imperfect selves.
It does seem worth it to give it a try--offer from the poverty of our suffering, our whole livelihood of suffering, or offer from the poverty of our patience and tolerance, our whole livelihood of time and energy even if our offering spurned by the other or takes all we have of effort to offer. Either way, whichever one we are--the insufferable suffering or the suffering supporter--we no doubt will have the opportunity in our lives to be either or both persons, in like situations.
Will we be the one who offers from our poverty and offer what seems to us our whole livelihood, or full effort? Yes, I think we find the answer when we try out the potentials in part or full, time and again. We must consider not just outer poverty, but what might confound us most--our in1ner poverty.
So I once more will offer from my suffering, from my whole livelihood of suffering today. And in the suffering, I offer my prayers for the elderly, suffering aunt, and for the one who keeps reaching in and going with, and listening to, and trying to encourage even if frustrated and at times the offerings negated, spurned, or triggers frustration.
God bless His Real Presence in us! Little children, let us love God and one another with all we possibly can love in whatever point in love of God we have come to love and grasp of God-is-love in our erstwhile impoverished, imperfect lives!
No comments:
Post a Comment