I'm not sure how or why, but I must have slightly moved in a wrong way, or else the big field trip to surgeon's office and the next day physical therapist coming--when I got up this morning the pain was way UP. That does affect the emotions and the mind's processing.
A surprise, but in came the family member with some fresh produce; had a window of opportunity to stop at store and then to drop off. I gave a check to include some gas and time for also being brought home from surgeon appointment and a couple other drop-offs of fresh produce over the past few weeks. Well, there was also the driving me to the pain doctor appointment a week ago.
Blessed in so many ways, lest I forget--such as the tremendous gift of having a pain doctor, of having the surgeon who pin-pointed the Arachnoiditis, and now not having to suffer through without medication. No amount of medication and yet be conscious, would be possible for the higher level of pain. But to raise the amount until the pain is under control will help; and then I will lower it at the next dosage time.
If I can do a few of the very few exercises today, and get up more than the four times yesterday, that will help the body keep build toward sitting in Lyft car in order to run an errand on my own--without wiping out from pain in ensuing days. I know this will all fall into place; but when in, severe pain, but the point is to get the pain to a point of being tolerable. With God giving me a high pain tolerance by nature, I can get through quite a bit of suffering. This is certainly a "praise of God!"
The medications are going to be picked up, may God be pain was UP this morning, and the emotions on edge, it took God's grace to keep me pointed in His direction.
So what if He said "no" to a parish assist in what I currently need help with? God is showing me the importance of not only faith, but BLIND faith. I must expect the unexpected, appreciate the surprises, go with His flow, be wide open for whomever and whatever, including going without if need be. Thus far God has obviously insisted on ecumenical help.
The meds errand will be by Christian who attends Nazarene Church. The returns to Home Depot by a Mormon. I have no other tangible needs at this time, which in itself I find a marvel of God. I will not need any more errands for perhaps two weeks. I can go longer without fresh produce as I do have some dried fruit and canned tomatoes and legumes, frozen cauliflower and black bean burgers.
I'm sure the higher pain that I was not noticing, had me frustrated some, or more, sad that I could not boast that help would come from the parish. Rather, as to all that, the Lord has shown me all the more about hermits and parishes, and when one adds in the hermit God-enlisted years ago as a sufferer for and with Christ--a victim soul of the Sacred Heart of Jesus--parishes are not geared for this. Well, add on the mystical experiences, the mystical ecstasies during Masses--not geared for this.
Aside from the conjoined purpose of hermits and parishioners of worshipping as the Body of Christ in Mass and the participating in and reception of the Sacraments, there really is little that a hermit would be "doing" with or in a parish and little that a parishioner would be "doing" with or for a hermit. What I "do" and "be" for the Church, for the parish, for every person and soul, is to devote my life in the praise of God and salvation of the world.
Amidst that broad "doing" and "being", prayer is pivotal, hospitality when it presents as a need, which for a hermit is rare, charity in whatever means the hermit can give to others in tangible means beyond the on-going spiritual means of charity, and as I am going to delve deeply--there are other facets of mostly spiritual "doing" and "being" for a hermit in regard to the Church and to all in the Body of Christ--and outside the Body, as well. Salvation of the world is vast.
I continue to pray about what I might write, what He wants and wills me to write other than my journalistic, self-case study type blog writing. But healing and striving to do the physical therapy I am to be doing currently, is a priority. I can pain pray and praise while healing; I can pray and praise during the effort of getting up and tending to the few simple tasks of self-maintenance; I can pray and praise when performing the simple spine-strengthening exercises--"intrinsic core" strengthening, it is called.
Those prayers and praises are for all and any, for the whole world, for the congregations and parishes and stakes or wards, temples, mosques and all the worshippers of God therein. As to the parish of my membership, I pray and praise specifically for the priests and members. I pray and praise for the five people who brought me meals as well as for the prayer intentions they gave to me, which I wrote down. I can pray and praise for the person doing the extra effort in time and cost to deal with my medication pick up and delivery.
So I best be at it--the exercises and praying and praising--while the pain med is tamping down the pain that was UP.
God bless His Real Presence in us!
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