Sorry I've not been able to write much at all. My one post since the extensive back surgery was mostly just chatty about the temporal aspects. But there is never anything temporal that is not undergirded by the great spiritual, mystical reality of His Real Presence. God Is ALL!
Praying and praising is on going aspect whether in pain and recovery mode, medicated and some sedated or fully alert and aware.
I've been able to decrease pain meds dose by 25% and stretch the time between medication doses from every four hours to every five hours. Last night I decided to not set the phone alarm to awaken me for pain meds, so I slept from 11 p.m. until 6 a.m. Praise the Lord for that amount of healing and restive sleep! Yes, there are all kinds of dreams which let me know the body is in a great deal of pain, but it was a gift from His Real Presence to slumber until pain awakened.
So it did take me longer this morning to get the pain under control, but God provides!
All through this time period, I've been having prayer requests that come my way. It is glorious to be able to pray for others! The people from the parish who have been bringing meals on M-W-F (two meals each so have for the next day) have given me many life situations for which to pray. I am practicing what I call "pain praying." I will try to write more about that when my own headache is not so severe as it is currently.
(And taking more pain meds often is not the answer to pain. I may need to take a super strength Excedrin for this headache, but that is to be avoided if possible due to blood clot risks. The Home Health Care Nurse was here this morning, and we discussed surgery patients, the opioid crisis that with legitimate pain patients has caused some added suffering, but that if there could be more post-op training and help for patients so that they'd realize they will need to accept and adapt to some pain, that would be realistic and helpful. So many patients think or expect to not have pain. Perhaps to get them positively set for a surgery, and spine surgeries are typical for the positive pre-op pep talks, doctors might minimize the statistics for when outcomes are not on the bright side. I tend to prefer reality therapy, and for my own surgery, I know that I am going to have much of the pain I had previously, if not all, or could even have more. But the spinal cord and major nerves coming from the facet joints of the spine now have space; paralysis is avoided. I'm grateful and praise God for all His mercies and goodness!)
I'm pain praying for two adult children in their mid-sixties. Their 93-year-old dad has suffered from dementia for 20 months; his prostate count was high and no doubt off the charts now. I'm pain praying for the man's nearly-92-year-old wife who is not the adult children's mother. The situation is this: the man's first wife developed mental illness at some point in their marriage, and for the last ten years of her life she had to be institutionalized.
After she passed and some years passed, the man met a lovely woman whose husband had died after a life of being parents to five sons and of one daughter who was born with a disability that kept her in the hospital the five months of her suffering life. So both the man and woman, widow and widower, met at a parish when in their later 70's, fell in love, and married, joined a parish together, found a home together, and spent these last 15 or so years having the time of their lives after having lived through some hard years prior. They are very devout and were daily Mass attendees. That's where I met them 11 years ago.
Prayers are being answered! Seems his adult children are more accepting now and letting go. I had to remind myself that their mother's mental health problems had been for years, and that surely affected their lives and thus perhaps part of the reason they are clinging to their dad when most people in their 60's with a dad who'd suffered for last 20 months, mind gone and body suffering would not struggle so to desire blessed release for their dad. I always need room to grow in putting myself into other people's situations and to understand and have empathy especially when the behaviors that seem obvious to me or others don't seem to be for persons for whom we pray. It is too easy to slip into being frustrated or critical--but understanding and empathy and simply pondering factors in other people's lives changes all to loving prayer.
When the adult daughter wanted her brother and the man's wife to force feed the man after he could not longer swallow--water, food, meds--the wife let me know across the miles, and was uncomfortable with that plan, of course. We all can see how force feeding was not going to bring back his mind or his body, especially not at age 93. But all we could do is pray and trust the Lord to step in and let His will rule the situation.
By the next morning, a doctor put a firm stop to the foolishness and even dangerous determination of the 65-year-old daughter. No more force feeding. The man was put o palliative care and moved to the hospice unit of the hospital where professionals in this area of end-of-life care are keeping the man comfortable. Now the children are also being helped into this next phase of letting go. Part of my praying--pain praying--was with the thought of how horrible it would be if the man choked on the food he was being fed! God provides! We are now considering the joy that will soon be the man's reward, and while his wife will so miss him, she has had to detach over time as he was no longer himself for over a year and a half.
God's way for each of us is always the best and perfect way.
There have been many other prayer needs that come to mind and arise daily despite how bed-ridden. A person the other day who brought food told me about their horrible challenge of the past four years. Her husband had an unexpected heart attach (youngest child in 7th grade), and he needed and received a heart transplant. They still are not on the other side of this ordeal, but they've been through a bulk of it. There is much involved in a heart transplant that we do not know unless having one or someone who has, informs us.
It is not just a matter of the body accepting a stranger's heart, but there are chemical aspects as well as tremendous psychological aspects for the recipient and his or her family. The patient/recipient is going to go through changes that will remain for the rest of the temporal life. That is the reality. Additionally, the finances alter in severe ways, and even if the person is able to return to work, it is obvious that never will the person be able to work to the same capacity as prior. But the patient and family will be led by God to a "new normal". It all takes time, prayer, effort, and total trust in His Real Presence!
I'm rambling, I'm sure. So very fatigued today yet I must make myself log roll to side of bed, put on brace, stand up, and use the walker to walk around the downstairs here in Solus Deus Hermitage. The neighbor children came this morning to put fresh ice in the ice pump, the nurse came and changed the dressing, but there will be no more visitors until the children return tonight to change the ice again. I'm in doze-mode!
God bless His Real Presence in us! What would we do without the gift of prayer--the gift God gives us to communicate with the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit!
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