As a consecrated Catholic hermit--or this could be true of any contemporary hermit--there is one unpleasant effect of solitude.
There is not the usual build up of antibodies for various ailments, mostly viruses. Since I rarely am around people, when I do encounter people it is easy to catch whatever "bugs" are going around.
I'm now coming down with a cold or more likely a sinus infection, since the sinuses are mostly involved. I assume they were compromised when the sinuses were affected the other night from the sawdust in the eyes. I had worn a mask, but the eye irritation caused sinus reaction. Was blowing the nose all night and day as autonomic reaction of eye pain.
It seems always something; and I am hopeful to not have this become what usually ends up sinuses going into a lung problem, and the lung problem ending up a pneumonia-type illness lasting a month or more.
Perhaps I encountered someone ill when I was driven to the eye specialist two days ago. This would not come simply from my sinuses being irritated; chills, odd-head sensation, and aches lend more to virus or infection of some sort.
Despite taking various supplements to try to ward off ailments, like all people, we hermits can catch whatever we are exposed to, and perhaps more so depending upon the degree of our solitude and being "hidden from the eyes of men."
One would hope that the Lord would provide a grace of illness-protection to those who are consecrated to a life of prayer. Such a foolish hope--for suffering is also part of prayer and of offering in loving sacrifice in uniting ourselves to the cross of Jesus Christ. In fact, as far as my life is concerned, I tend to be graced by more rather than less, when it comes to forms of suffering.
It is all right, although I would love to have a stronger disposition in body to fend off illnesses. I'd like to think that my construction zone environment has been part of the problem in the long-duration of most ailments I "catch". However, I consider in years past when in a lovely hermitage, and the illnesses especially involving the lungs, lasted a good while.
Was just more comfortable in cozier place; and I did not have the added work around me that was begging to be completed. Today, for example, I was hoping to caulk and fill trim in a small room, and then do the final paint coat. And, had the drywall mud, applied yesterday, dried in earlier, better light, I had aspirations to do another coat.
I've done nothing other than rest, make a chicken broth soup, take a phone call from a long-time friend whose birthday was this past week as we stay in contact a couple or three times a year, and do some research on the advantage of sucking on zinc tablet to shorten the duration of common cold....
I've written some emails, and I've prayed.
Of course I've prayed. That is my main privilege and work as a consecrated Catholic hermit! I have been praying for the person in a long-held cycle of acting and reacting in an abusive marriage. I had to once again be firm in not responding to specific question of what the person ought do in a given situation. The good Lord has helped me realize that what I can "do" to help is to encourage the person to build self-esteem and realize that the Lord has given intelligence to start figuring out what to do in any situation of which the person has questions.
I do understand that part of the insecurity is due to fear of the reaction of the spouse, either way. Yet, if we are to progress in our spiritual lives and in our earthly relationships, we must learn to have courage and faith to make decisions and to know that the Lord will provide the strength we need. (The situation is not physically abusive or dangerous in that way, so taking the risk at worse will result in more arguing or verbal insults or anger.)
Time to turn to reading St. John of the Cross again, for me. I saw a photo of the old gardens in my previous hermitage, and I had a pang of sorrow that I'd left, that circumstances were such that I rather needed to leave; but throughout the day I realized I'd have to detach from such beauty and delight and comfort at some point. And, so I had to detach, and the process of detachment may have little threads still hanging out there like sticky, wafting cobwebs that seem to grab us now and then. A photo was all it took this time. The feeling was fleeting.
Here, I have been living out detachment, day by day. The Lord has had quite a time with my stubborn self; but over the nearly five years here, I've grown increasingly detached. Had to! No choice, other than to remain angry or resentful, weeping or frustrated! Had to get with the Lord's program, and even still, today, realizing I am coming down with something and hindered, I had to detach from my desire to make more progress on that little room....
Praying for the abused children in southern California whose parents tortured, starved, and imprisoned them for years and years. So I do understand various aspects of what being abused mentally, emotionally, and those who also are physically abused--how they lose self-esteem, confidence, and fear more abuse of any type. But I am to pray; and in my little case at hand, I am to encourage courage!
God bless His Real Presence in us!
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