Praised be the Name of the Lord!
Mercy, the right hand, particularly the thumb down to its base, is acutely painful. The Lord knows what finishing work inside and gardening work outside yet remains. But the thumb that had a drill whip injury and periodic flare ups the past two years is now needing correction, it seems. That right hand and the recent back pain siege has been an excellent way for the Lord to remind me of total dependence upon His will in all things.
Ran into temporal hassles trying to get into primary care doctors and Nurse practitioners. But the pain motivated me, along with the thought from my angel via Holy Spirit, to do an online search for a hand orthopedist. Found one with good reviews and amazingly with a number for new patients! Did not need a referral from general practitioner and am going to be seen in a week if not cancellation sooner. A drill whip injury is quite painful, the thumb laid back with force. I hoped to avoid surgery but in the silence of solitude and enforced mattress rest for nearly three weeks, I realized I will not be able to use my right hand for much now or in future if not repaired.
The Lord gave me a specialist and not long to wait for some relief.
Yesterday I had quite the nudge to call for an appointment to get the laptop repaired. Tracking pad has not worked well for awhile, and I thought the warranty up in early December. But I called due to the nudge within to do so. Turns out the warranty was up yesterday so was told to go as a walk in customer and wait. May the Lord be praised! I do not mind waiting; I've been waiting for Jesus to come for me for some time.... The laptop is out for a week, they think, and I could not have afforded the repair had I called today. The Lord gives even if He takes temporarily, some tangible tool.
The use of the right hand is taken away for the most part. When I do use it minimally, the Lord allows pain as the consequence. I will attempt using the pneumatic Brad nailer to install baseboards upstairs, knowing that I will have increased pain. When it becomes too much, I will stop. And I must not complain for the consequences. The Lord is providing help, on its way sooner than I could have hoped! I will not push the hand beyond prudence, but I will put it to a small test.
The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.
In reading chapter five of Book Two of The Collected Works of John of the Cross, the gist is that of our letting go of attachment not only in the more temporal senses but to also let go of attachment of the interior senses, of the supernatural aspects of mind, heart and soul. One is to allow blindness in knowledge, intellect, and understanding, for example, and to let go of attempts to figure out any visions and locutions. We are to rest in darkness, passively, and allow the Lord full reign over our totality of being. He will then introduce faith--that faith that passes all understanding and ushers our souls into union with God.
The Lord gives, thus, when attachments are taken away. When our attempts to see are taken, blindness is given. This type of blindness is good. Blind faith is what God desires, yet it occurs by His grace and of taking our supernatural attachments and giving us divine union--that we then see as God sees, fully united within His will.
I hope and pray that is the path I'm on. I have no idea, but I hope and pray that He takes whatever attachments and gives blind faith at some point. Am very weary, and passivity is a welcome position.
The Lord decides. The Lord wills and bequeaths the giving and the taking away.
With whatever we are, love God.
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