Although I could alter the first verse of the great Jimmy Webb's song, "All I Know", the lyrics are just as this pained, consecrated Catholic hermit can offer to Jesus as yet another love song.
Perhaps the first lines could be, for my adaptation into love song to Jesus:
"I choose you, you choose me,
we both choose so lovingly;
so lovingly, we let it show;
I love You, and that's all I know...."
The remaining lyrics are spot-on for my considerations to Christ the Beloved King of my heart!
All my plans indeed depend on Jesus.
When He left this earth, His Life continued on. And how gloriously so!
There truly is that darkness before the dawn, and it is also true that in the greatest darkness there is a Light beyond.
Yes, endings do come, and they last so long. Very long, the end lasts--the endings of any phase including our physical conclusion on this earth. But even now, in a temporal as well as spiritual way, the finishing of this hermitage, under financial and pain pressure, is going ever-so-slowly, tediously, sufferingly.
Yes, the endings seem to last long while also passing slowly, maybe agonizingly slowly, depending on the situation of the ending.
While the genius songwriter Jimmy Webb wrote this as from one to another, earthly friends, lovers, spouses, or such, I find it a song adaptable from my heart to the Love of my life: Jesus Christ.
In that, for me, Jimmy's first lines are acceptable, actually. I know my thoughts, words, actions, feelings often could seem as that which could bruise others, and could bruise Jesus if it were for the reality that He does not bruise. Or when I consider that the Lord is said to not break a bruised reed (referenced as in the Book of Isaiah), God does know we are bruised often enough, in many ways.
But He does not bruise us, or so I think not, unless it is His means of pruning, of teaching lessons, of keeping us from greater harm. Mostly, bruising comes from the effect of an injury, a beneath the surface wound, or a bruised ego or bruised "heart." Bruises in and to us in many aspects are the result of some sin or other, either imposed upon us by someone else or brought on by our own flaws and unfortunate choosing.
And the endings that come thus far, in my temporal life are temporal; but fortunately the final ending of this temporal life--despite seeming to pass so slowly--will pass my mind, heart and soul into the never-ending eternity with the Beloved. Never-ending love in Christ will be all I know, and time will not be--not fast, not slow.
(Perhaps if I grow in love, in Christ, increasingly now and live with the truth that all I really know is that I love God, the reality of temporal endings will not affect me much, will not seem to last long nor pass slowly.)
Regardless all the above, in my recent exhaustion from too much physical pain as well as the Lord's slowing me down so as to better realize that besides all my plans depending upon God, all I know, truly all I know when it comes down to whatever of my life and existence remains: I love Him.
Yes, that is all I really know. I might write lots of thoughts and try to figure out matters, or might share the progression of this particular Catholic hermit's progression, all I really do know is that I love the Lord Jesus Christ. I love the Holy Spirit. I love God the Father.
And that is all I really know.
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