Monday, February 28, 2022

Christian Catholic Mystic Hermit: Hanging on to Christ in His Living Word, Trusting His Real Presence in All

 Reading this in wee hours of morn before dawn light.  So helpful. Was Gospel reading for Mass, yesterday.  I so need this, every word of hope and faith, reminder that God is taking care of everything.

This sinus infection really hit hard despite getting zpack at end of day four.  That has been taken and now a week nearly passed since the last dose.  But it is supposed to keep working ten days after.  Praise God!  I'm still too sick to do other than take the pup outside for her elimination needs.  Wiped out physically.  The past two weeks are a blur.

Someone did write needing help regarding what I'd term a house "infestation" of evil. Bad vibes, bad energies, whatever one wants to call it, her husband had much darkness in him, an abusive person who rejected Christ and was not good to wife nor children, long since out on their own.  He passed away, so he hopefully said "yes" to Jesus in his judgment, and is getting the help he refused while on earth.  This is my prayer and hope, anyway.  But as for that house where they lived all those years, it has all kinds of temporal problems as well.  I advised as have others to sell and let someone else tear down or do all the work to fix it to more livable conditions. As it is, mold was found, so that required much to be tossed, including their bed and dresser, which is for the best.  I gave my input which was asked of me, and now will pray she takes the advice as someone else also suggested unloading the property.  Nothing more for me to say or do in that situation, but gave her my own input of having been there one time and knew I'd never go back.  Darkness in that dwelling, bad vibes, not good and was from the husband, and perhaps could be also from in past, whoever lived there, four decades or more ago.  Ramshackle farmhouse.  Praying that she has the courage to detach from it and get out.  Start fresh.  

As for myself, I'm in over my head with this place plus the pup, just five months old now.  She's been amazingly good for no walks and just three or so times in the past two weeks of running with another dog named Angel. That dog's owner is not thrilled, but every so often I ask when he's out with his dog in common area, tossing a ball.  His dog runs into my yard hoping Mercy can come, so they get along very well; it's just the old man likes his routine of fetch with his dog and without other interference in his routine.  I understand, have empathy for that time of solitude with his dog and alone time.

I'm not sure if or when I'll get energy returned, and then likely need to crate the pup a bit longer than I have been in order to accomplish more manual labor.  My efforts have dropped to but a couple hours a day and not daily; and for two weeks nothing at all.  I'm not sure what I've had to eat other than some cheese-nip type crackers for a few days, and drinking vitamin C added to water bottle, trying to have plenty to drink.  Relapsed after last Wednesday thinking was better and had appt. at Home. Depot to put in another order including windows for main bathroom even though haven't gutted any of it yet, and will not until rest of place is finished.


God help me finish up here, this summer, next summer, if I'm still on this earth.  Then to get a place very small, no more renovating as means to earn money for potential nursing home, end of life care.  All these aspects are the concern of a hermit without savings other than modest amount parents left.  My slowly renovating with bits of manual labor and lots of prayer, has been a way to increase the base once the house is completed and sold. Next time I cannot reinvest with idea of renovating, but my base will go down too quickly by renting, since my body is not able to work for others.  People tend to want a room painted faster than two weeks, or right now, had I begun as I did the entry here, two weeks ago--then sickness struck so nothing more since; and no idea when next will be able to paint one wall or a portion of ceiling if bounded by borders, for one cannot stop mid-wall or mid-ceiling when painting.  Leaves a line that will bleed through.  

Thus, I simply must rely on God and His will for my body. 

That's actually how we all are, but those with a chronic disability and getting up in years, has the added reality to face of poor health and end-of-the-run, so to speak.  And this particular Gospel fills my mind, heart, and soul with hope, faith, and love necessary to keep going, to simply hang on and in that, to keep going in and by His Real Presence.

The Gospel of Matthew, 6:24-34

Jesus said to his disciples: "No one can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?
Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?
Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin.
But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them.
If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?
So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?'
All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.
But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.
Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil."

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