I've had to hire a man, hourly, who does a bit of everything, with windows and doors his specialties. My back is "toast" other than I one-by-one carry out boards not needed and do basic clean up, remove trim, cut out bits of drywall to prepare for "Ryan" to then come to remove windows and doors for replacements. I am up for short bits of time, then back on the bed for long stretches.
We need another outlet box as one-thing-leads-to-another when putting in a sliding door to patio. A light switch for outdoor light will be of benefit there. As gopher-worker, I will go to Home Depot for the electrical box when I head to the lab across the road from the store, for a spine x-ray. Have a follow-up appointment with neurosurgeon tomorrow; I suppose he is making sure all is well in from the extensive surgery he did over a year ago. This is in preparation for another neurosurgeon in his group to surgically implant the Medtronic Intrathecal Pain Pump in nine days! Oct. 22--seems a good day being that of the Feast of Pope St. John Paul II and several other fine holy men and women.
However, either the oral meds I've had to take for a few years, or being in bed too much due to severe pain or it is the Arachnoiditis starting to mess with my bladder (already has affected intestines), I've been having problems. Test results still are not coming back normal, and day after tomorrow I have to see a urologist PA; my internal med doctor wanted me to see the specialist, but this particular medical group keeps returning me to the PA instead of the doctor. So I'll go this one time, but I had a major victory for which I thanked the Virgin Mary and Jesus, and got into a urologist with excellent reviews who is an independent doctor. No opening before the surgery so will go to the PA if antibiotics needed, which they might be. I cannot have the pump surgery (which now seems past-due given the troubles occurring with other organs) if I have infection going on within.
My spiritual life has been calm and peaceful since pulling the plug on parish and diocese involvements. Due to my mystical ecstasies during Masses and the pain situation and the added issues that go with Arachnoiditis which are on-going and exhausting, watching Masses through my laptop window-to-the world and joining in with rosaries as desired. Peaceful sometimes, just holding my rosary as holding the hand of Mary, and listening, the mind flowing along with the priest leading. I've found one with a most lovely voice....
The following writing by Raphael Arnaiz Baron--just hit the spot today, and sums up the current status here. I might rewrite it rather than the cut-and-paste effect, but for now, here it is!
And, as usual, I pray: God bless His Real Presence in us!
"Give alms, and behold, everything will be clean for you"
God is in the unfettered heart, in the silence of prayer, the willing sacrifice to suffering in the rejection of the world and its creatures. God is in the Cross, and as long as we do not love the Cross we shall not see him, we shall not feel him. Let those who are only concerned with making a noise, keep silent! Ah Lord, how happy I am in my retreat! How much I love you in my solitude! How much I would like to offer you what I haven't got, for I have already given you all! Ask me, Lord, but what have I to give you? My body – it is yours already; my soul – Lord, for whom shall it crave but you, longing for you to take it once and for all. My heart, it is at the feet of Mary, shedding tears of love, of love for you only. My will? Perhaps, Lord, I want what you don't wish? Tell me, tell me, Lord, what is your will and I will place mine at your side. I love everything that you send me and everything that you command of me, health as much as sickness, to be here as much as to be there, to be one thing as much as another; my life, take it, Lord, when you will. How could we not be happy like this? If the world and mankind only knew (…) But they won't know, they're much too occupied with their affairs, their hearts are full of things which are not God. The world lives very much for earthly ends; people give themselves up to the illusions of this life in which all is vanity, and so they can't find that real happiness which is the love of God. Perhaps they will come to understand, but to experience that happiness they must live it. And there are very few, even among Religious, who surrender themselves to take up his cross (Mt 16:24). Lord, the things that you permit! Your wisdom will know the reason for this; take me by the hand and suffer not my feet to slip, for if you don't do this, who will help me? And “if you don't build” (Ps 127[126]:1) (…) Ah Lord, how I love you! When will it be, Lord?
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