Well, this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit made its way to Mass, leaving early to speak with the priest and fully prepared to honestly question probing for awhile.
What is the fruit of my Catholic existence? What good is the mystical state when people are off-put, awkward--that it seems to be a deal-breaker of sorts? Wouldn't it be better to go to a Protestant service where the mystical state would not occur (has not the times I visited family worship services, not even an inkling of it).
On the way to the parish I called an older friend, admitting my frustrations and concerns. And why did the man offer so kindly to assist with a small task and then totally shift gears? The friend admitted she learned so much of her charitable ways from time she had left the Catholic Church; but of course, she returned. This was news to me, her leaving and at some point in her past.
I spoke with the priest and shared my concerns with not wanting to be an awkward obstacle for parishioners, and that I was soul-searching with the Lord. Why does He want me to be Catholic when others react, then I react to their reacting--and what point, what good, what fruit?
The priest let it come out that earlier people had been bothered. "Are they doing it again?" he asked. I mentioned the odd interchange with the man offering to help in a task, then shifting his total affect, reneging the offer. I added that it was not a huge issue other than at this phase of matters, I am easily triggered to what had occurred previously.
"Can you grasp how it would be easy for me to be overly sensitive?" I asked. Yes, he did understand. Of my sensing he may be awkward with the oddness of my mystical state in Mass, he reassured me two or three times, that I had that wrong, surely. He said he appreciates more than I can know, my being there, coming to Mass and a member of the parish.
He also plans to bless this place, to which I said it seems very oppressive in here at times. However, that oppression can also be my own along with the varied spiritual residue in this 112-year-old farmhouse.
Anyway, the priest encouraged to just keep coming to Mass, no matter how difficult it seems to me, and to pay attention to the Gospel for this weekend and listen to any message that will come from his homily.
And so I did. And the Lord delivered some points deep within--in addition to bringing total refreshment to my exhausted body, mind, heart and soul. One point has to do with the one leper who returned, healed of the ten lepers healed, to thank Jesus. He returned in gratitude as a prayer opportunity with Jesus Himself. Jesus asked, "Where are the other nine? Were there not ten healed?"
Then came insight during the mystical state, of the Catholic man who so decidedly changed his mind on doing the small act of charity, lifting the microwave while I would bolt it in place.
It had nothing to do with the microwave, nothing to do with me! I was shown the whole point and purpose of that encounter and why it stuck with me, why it seemed so pathetic and rude for the reneging of kindness proferred--is that I otherwise would not know to pray for this man who is going to have some major need of prayer.
The more strange and odd the circumstances of such an encounter, the more I was to take heed that the point is the soul in the encounter is in trouble or will be, and my prayers are called upon. Had it not been such a disappointment, such an odd upset, sticking with me for several days, stirring up in my mind even if my not getting the point--at least I did get the point during Mass. I am praying now with great focus for the man. I caught a glimpse of him leaving after Mass. It may be that some illness is going to occur, or a heart ailment, or stroke. His palor seemed yellow-gray. Whatever, I'm on it!
When I am shown such things during Mass, all comes quite clear. While I have been thinking of others in my life who are in need of prayer for very serious and emotion-wrenching issues in their lives, the devil had done a good job of riling my thoughts, taking up space. Now all is opened up like having a blocked sweeper hose cleared of impacted fuzz.
Part of my reason for being in Mass is for the Lord to bring people to me, such as the man, so that I will pray in ways that perhaps others would never realize to pray--including the man himself. Has nothing to do with me or a microwave.... It has to do with a soul brought to me in an enigmatic encounter.
So with gratitude I return to the Lord to pray with Him and thank Him for healing me, once again. Yes, I felt healing during Mass, and I did pray for healing for the past experiences that were rather brutal. I am open for the Lord to utilize this priest, for I do trust him beyond the stir the devil worked in me, that he is quite all right with my presence in the parish. He brought up the trials of Padre Pio and John Vianney, and others who went through difficult experiences and adaptations, and that one must stay the course.
Another thing, during Mass, the priest's homily was all spiritual--not even the usual little examples from the temporal to augment his points. All spiritual this time, no intrusions from anyone concerned or curious with my immobility, all healing, refreshment, peace, and insights from the Holy Spirit.
Plus, at some point the Lord showed me an aspect of the upper hallway that I am cutting out and some ceiling joists of living room below, laden with electrical wires, and that I need to cut a bit farther in so that the stringer boards of the steps will attach to a backer board. Need to incorporate space to nail in a backer board....
It is amazing how God provided that last tidbit of temporal "showing" that is invaluable to my continuing efforts to install the upper stairway from landing to upstair hallway..... I will return to the Lord over and over, and thank Him with gratitude for this healing. I'm sure there will be more times in which my old wounds may be ripped open, scabs torn by the devil and myself cooperating with the trigger-points.
But the Lord sees us through all phases in the spiritual realm which is always intersecting the temporal. Am praying with more clarity once more, for many people; and I add a prayer that I get better sleep tonight. Please, Lord, and thank You! May we always return over and over to give Christ thanks for tending and healing us.
What is the fruit of my Catholic existence? What good is the mystical state when people are off-put, awkward--that it seems to be a deal-breaker of sorts? Wouldn't it be better to go to a Protestant service where the mystical state would not occur (has not the times I visited family worship services, not even an inkling of it).
On the way to the parish I called an older friend, admitting my frustrations and concerns. And why did the man offer so kindly to assist with a small task and then totally shift gears? The friend admitted she learned so much of her charitable ways from time she had left the Catholic Church; but of course, she returned. This was news to me, her leaving and at some point in her past.
I spoke with the priest and shared my concerns with not wanting to be an awkward obstacle for parishioners, and that I was soul-searching with the Lord. Why does He want me to be Catholic when others react, then I react to their reacting--and what point, what good, what fruit?
The priest let it come out that earlier people had been bothered. "Are they doing it again?" he asked. I mentioned the odd interchange with the man offering to help in a task, then shifting his total affect, reneging the offer. I added that it was not a huge issue other than at this phase of matters, I am easily triggered to what had occurred previously.
"Can you grasp how it would be easy for me to be overly sensitive?" I asked. Yes, he did understand. Of my sensing he may be awkward with the oddness of my mystical state in Mass, he reassured me two or three times, that I had that wrong, surely. He said he appreciates more than I can know, my being there, coming to Mass and a member of the parish.
He also plans to bless this place, to which I said it seems very oppressive in here at times. However, that oppression can also be my own along with the varied spiritual residue in this 112-year-old farmhouse.
Anyway, the priest encouraged to just keep coming to Mass, no matter how difficult it seems to me, and to pay attention to the Gospel for this weekend and listen to any message that will come from his homily.
And so I did. And the Lord delivered some points deep within--in addition to bringing total refreshment to my exhausted body, mind, heart and soul. One point has to do with the one leper who returned, healed of the ten lepers healed, to thank Jesus. He returned in gratitude as a prayer opportunity with Jesus Himself. Jesus asked, "Where are the other nine? Were there not ten healed?"
Then came insight during the mystical state, of the Catholic man who so decidedly changed his mind on doing the small act of charity, lifting the microwave while I would bolt it in place.
It had nothing to do with the microwave, nothing to do with me! I was shown the whole point and purpose of that encounter and why it stuck with me, why it seemed so pathetic and rude for the reneging of kindness proferred--is that I otherwise would not know to pray for this man who is going to have some major need of prayer.
The more strange and odd the circumstances of such an encounter, the more I was to take heed that the point is the soul in the encounter is in trouble or will be, and my prayers are called upon. Had it not been such a disappointment, such an odd upset, sticking with me for several days, stirring up in my mind even if my not getting the point--at least I did get the point during Mass. I am praying now with great focus for the man. I caught a glimpse of him leaving after Mass. It may be that some illness is going to occur, or a heart ailment, or stroke. His palor seemed yellow-gray. Whatever, I'm on it!
When I am shown such things during Mass, all comes quite clear. While I have been thinking of others in my life who are in need of prayer for very serious and emotion-wrenching issues in their lives, the devil had done a good job of riling my thoughts, taking up space. Now all is opened up like having a blocked sweeper hose cleared of impacted fuzz.
Part of my reason for being in Mass is for the Lord to bring people to me, such as the man, so that I will pray in ways that perhaps others would never realize to pray--including the man himself. Has nothing to do with me or a microwave.... It has to do with a soul brought to me in an enigmatic encounter.
So with gratitude I return to the Lord to pray with Him and thank Him for healing me, once again. Yes, I felt healing during Mass, and I did pray for healing for the past experiences that were rather brutal. I am open for the Lord to utilize this priest, for I do trust him beyond the stir the devil worked in me, that he is quite all right with my presence in the parish. He brought up the trials of Padre Pio and John Vianney, and others who went through difficult experiences and adaptations, and that one must stay the course.
Another thing, during Mass, the priest's homily was all spiritual--not even the usual little examples from the temporal to augment his points. All spiritual this time, no intrusions from anyone concerned or curious with my immobility, all healing, refreshment, peace, and insights from the Holy Spirit.
Plus, at some point the Lord showed me an aspect of the upper hallway that I am cutting out and some ceiling joists of living room below, laden with electrical wires, and that I need to cut a bit farther in so that the stringer boards of the steps will attach to a backer board. Need to incorporate space to nail in a backer board....
It is amazing how God provided that last tidbit of temporal "showing" that is invaluable to my continuing efforts to install the upper stairway from landing to upstair hallway..... I will return to the Lord over and over, and thank Him with gratitude for this healing. I'm sure there will be more times in which my old wounds may be ripped open, scabs torn by the devil and myself cooperating with the trigger-points.
But the Lord sees us through all phases in the spiritual realm which is always intersecting the temporal. Am praying with more clarity once more, for many people; and I add a prayer that I get better sleep tonight. Please, Lord, and thank You! May we always return over and over to give Christ thanks for tending and healing us.
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