The next day at noon Mass, nothing was lector. How apropos the reading from Isaiah 6:1-8. Especially resonated these words of the prophet and the seraphim:
"And I said, 'Woe is me, because I have held my peace; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people that hath unclean lips, and I have seen with my eyes the King of the Lord of hosts. And one of the seraphims flew to me and in his hand was a live coal, which he had taken with the tongs off the altar. And he touched my mouth, and said: 'Behold this hath touched thy lips, and thy iniquities shall be taken away, and thy sin shall be cleansed....'"
As nothing read aloud to the people in the chapel, it knew deep within that the angel of the Lord was speaking to it, as well, and that its sin (yes, of the lips, the roots of which dwelt in the mind) was washed down and away.
The work of amendment continues on this Feast day of Our Lady of Mount Carmel. This morning came a follow up call. Yesterday had been discussed the change nothing is making (not must make but IS, even HAS). When talk arose of other people, nothing kept silent until an opening appeared to say, "I will pray about the situation; there is nothing I can say." Nothing had already explained the new way of being, and why, to the caller. Even that had not deterred the caller's talk. But nothing refused to cooperate.
The conversation drew to a somewhat strained close. Nothing had done its best to explain why, how, and how much the talk of people (behind their backs!) is WRONG, a mortal sin, trespassing, murder at times.
"O Lord," nothing prayed as soon as the phones clicked off, "I am willing to lose even this friend rather than to sin again. That sin makes me so ill through and through, that I cannot stomach it anymore."
During the night nothing awoke with pain from having tried to lift a potted blue procumbens spruce (deceptively heavy for being so small--not unlike small talk about people). Nothing decided to pray the rosary for the caller, a beloved person, as all people are beloved of God. Nothing finished the rosary through the final decade, without falling asleep (for a change!) and actually focused on the mysteries, in this prayer for the caller.
Then came a small devil that sat on the bed. It was kind of like a child devil; nothing was not frightened by it--disgusting in appearance, all the same.
"Why are you here? What do you want?" nothing asked interiorly. The nasty creature (evidently not an old devil as it was without experienced tricks) replied, "I am here because I don't like that you prayed that prayer and finished it! I didn't like that you prayed it with such purpose!"
The little creep grimaced, and nothing told it to be gone, that yes, it had prayed the full rosary, meditated on the mysteries, and did so for the purpose of the caller's change from talk of people.
That was it. Back to sleep. Somehow this morning, while watering, nothing thought about the caller and felt that the person would come 'round, would step up to this level of challenge, and together we could have good conversations without talking of people.
A call came. The question was asked, "Do you prefer that I not speak with you anymore, as I don't want to drag you down by what I talk about?"
"No, I would like to continue our friendship and conversations, and you won't drag me down because I will not talk about people and cannot, and so if you do, I will change the conversation or say I'll pray about it or need to end that conversation. But it is my hope and prayer that you will join me in raising our conversation to a new level and that way we will both be improved."
"But won't our conversation be rather superficial?"
"No, we can talk about God and about matters of God. We can talk about spiritual insights. We can talk about our gardens and other aspects of our daily lives--without talking about people."
"But what if someone wants to ask about family members?"
"That is all right, but in some instances, if it goes beyond simple, well-intentioned inquiry and more information is desired, then that can become tricky. Then the contact information of the person asked about, could be given, and the inquirer could contact that person to ask about his or her life. And I will not inquire about people, for the most part, and definitely will not ask about people that the other person has issues with. You will see--our conversations, with practice, will be better than we ever dreamed possible."
"Well, I'll try. And I won't ever bring up [so-and-so again]."
Then a computer question was asked, and nothing attempted to answer as best it could.
It's a new beginning. Nothing's sin has been cleansed; its iniquities have been taken away. The practice in amendment continues. Courage and conviction come by God's grace.
[The photographed Asiatic lilies blooming at Agnus Dei's Mary Garden reminded nothing of tongues and lips!]
2 comments:
This was a comment from one who desired anonymity! Hurrah for anonymity!
Dearest Nothing,
I completely understand about the sideways crosses and how the tongue can be a sinful agent. Your blogs have helped me notice how often unneccesary references to others pepper my conversations, anecdotes and clever analyses...but at the expense of others. I know the realm of the saints and angels will provide you with more good company than you could ever wish for, and perhaps your colleagues on this earth will step up to the challenge. I wish I were your friend so I could join you! My prayers are with you. Your garden is so lovely. No wonder Our Lady dwells there. Happy Feast of Our Lady of Carmel.
Here's to the communion of Saints!
Thank you for your thoughts. This has been quite a major change--from something that shocked so deeply. Life is changing for the better already.
Thank you, too, for the insight that Our Lady dwells here. I had lost conscious awareness of that, and I know she dwells wherever and whenever we desire to open our hearts and homes to her.
Thank you for the prayers. Needed! Have had to be more assertive than imagined, and with family and others who find this a bit strange! But the success will be when those who join in, find the joy and freedom from talking of others.
Opens up glorious realms of God talk in varying aspects.
You are in my prayers, also! We are friends, aren't we? Seems so.
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