Vocation Affirmation!
Waiting here in the Geneva gare. Arrived by bus, then tram, from Annecy—always with minutes to spare except here with over an hour. And back to Vienna to rest, to regroup.
Does the world rule my comings and goings? It is too much for a nothing, the world. Am not made for the world; yet, there is goodness, and can contemplate souls from Agnus Dei, from the little hermitage on Lake Immaculata, on the edge of a small city, near the town of birth and ancestors’ births…and deaths.
Will deal with the world from there. By the grace of God, the body goes from here to there and back again. But it is enough. The nothing knows its place, and its place knows the nothing. A friend says this is the Golden Autumn, and true so be we in it. The young have work ahead. The young priests and religious have their work to do: soul work requiring soul and body and mind and spirit. They must reclaim for the Church the souls out in the world. They must fill the vast churches and Cathedrals with souls anew, fresh souls to worship, to believe, to know God.
The world does not accurately know the nothing, nor the nothing the world. And do not wish to know the world, but to know the flowers and birds, Andrew and Mrs. Andrew Great-Blue-Herrons on Lake Immaculata, the souls God brings to the hermitage, to deal with those suffering with love and much prayer, to grow some greens and eat them, weed and prune roses and herbs, to drive the seven miles to and from daily Mass, to be possessed and owned by the Church in Her protective enclosure, to simply exist until the Golden Autumn turns to early winter, and November into deep and dark December--until the Nativity, and then to be born with the Infant Jesus into His world of which angels and shepherds join together in excelsis Deo.
This is enough for this body, and the soul will come to know God in the way St. Francis de Sales desired to know God and to write. Will offer this time for the time on earth he had not. Yet he knew God so well that his dark December came early and went. He arrived and returned and is writing and knowing God from within God, peering out at this body with a weak twin of active energy remaining, enough to return to Vienna by train.
The strong twin of contemplation is robust and sucks her thumb. She is content, is Maureen. And the male twin (Maxwell someone said to call him) will grow enough to survive for the return to within, to Agnus Dei, to solus Deus.
Perhaps there is more in Vienna, more abbeys and churches and prayer amidst the very busy world. The spires top the anchor prongs rooted in the ocean earth bed, currents swirling about and wind-forced waves tumult the souls here and there--many oblivious to the ships with priests fishing for souls. Some priests zealous and some not. Those not will grow hungry and weaken.
We shall see what the Lord has next. Ride the train, ride the train….
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2 comments:
Are you still out there? We miss your hermit inspirations! Hope all is well...go with God...
Dear Brenda and All Friends Out There,
The nothing is still here--barely! How can nothing be even more nothing or less nothing? Somehow it can be that nothing can be less. But it probably cannot be more for then it would be a little something and not nothing or less than nothing.
The pilgrimage left the nothing less than nothing--or nearly so! The nothing also had given away the laptop, and thus sitting at this desktop is painful and difficult to plug into the Socket with all prongs! But found a no-interest for six months deal, and a laptop is coming in a few days. And then for those who don't mind the droning writing, it will return. For those who do mind it and have taken offense but continue to log on to the blog, often several times a day for whatever reason, will just have to endure what is written and offer it up!
At times the nothing thought the soul was detaching from the body. It has been over four weeks since becoming ill, and there was much on the private retreat which had to be assimilated within--a kind of deeper acceptance of nothingness, of aspects of the nothing's spiritual life and God's will,and to see how much the nothing still clings to its own will in some ways. Then there has been the acceptance of some inexplicable things, or perhaps a bit indescribable, and of a deep understanding as to why a nothing is to be hidden and remain hidden.
The nothing was to hear when the Bishop would set up an appointment with the nothing, to discuss certain things, but that call has not come. Perhaps the nothing is not to speak to him, after all. Or not now. An Opus Dei priest encountered while away, lit up with the good of being a nothing. What if the Bishop would desire a little something? God might not want that, and so perhaps He will prohibit the meeting or will work it out with His Son in the Church today, to keep the nothing as nothing or less than nothing. Not even any assurance of hidden acceptance of vows by the Bishop. Only God knows (unless God has told the nothing's angel.)
My, yes, the nothing is still "here" or "out there." Probably it is more "out there" than anywhere!
I keep praying for everyone who aspires to God, which means you, Brenda, and Chez Moi and Marie and Solanus and Pax and others who have left names or not.
Have been reading [ST.] Dorotheos of Gaza, a 6th century monk/hermit, and so will ramble about some of his tremendous discourses and sayings when the laptop arrives--and after the nothing figures out how to use it--by the Grace of God! We are blessed to be able to communicate one with another in such anonymity and openness of spiritual friendship and love!
Gracious First Friday!
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