Yesterday, Today

Yesterday, the nothing Catholic hermit did not get up for early Mass but went at noon. The morning slithered by. The nothing prayed the Morning Office at Agnus Dei, and not sure what else other than showered. Oh yes--the nothing read about a missing child and noticed yet another scandal--through one of those pop-up things on the e-mail. There were a couple of correspondences done, also.

Then a woman who'd asked the nothing to meet for lunch a week ago (nothing declined), happened to come to noon Mass and repeated the request. The nothing felt it best to agree this time. It was practice in trying to converse without falling into criticism. This practice varies in difficulty depending upon the company and the other person's conversation, for a bit of criticism from the nothing or the other person/s, and criticism slips into detraction. But, the nothing is more aware of this now, so while effort and hard work, there was little criticism of others.

Now what the nothing works on (in addition to struggling to keep at the level learned), is to learn to be very vague if specific examples come to mind, such as persons the nothing knows--and to NOT use names. Jesus spoke in parables, in stories, and also used metaphors of nature and culture. St. Francis de Sales utilized metaphors from nature for teaching. Scripture is a good teacher, also, and utilized in conversation--reminding oneself and others of parables or of the disciples, prophets, and other such examples which may be adapted.

A few times, the nothing had to stop and say it "would not criticize, must not criticize" and then immediately think of good qualities. This happened while the other and the nothing were standing in the Cathedral parking lot, talking with one of the priests prior to going to lunch after Mass. Several carloads pulled into the lot (not parishioners), and many women wearing purple clothing and red hats rolled out of the vehicles. One of our threesome began to make comments about these women (belonging to some kind of society for elderly women whose goal is to just have fun, or so it is said). The nothing had to say, "will not criticize"--and then came up with a couple or three positives: they are colorful, they are laughing gaily, they are friends with one another. The other with whom the nothing was standing, got the idea. Then, during lunch, it was easier for the nothing to stop and repeat: do not criticize; do not detract. The other laughed and admitted that criticism of another was a topic of her most recent confession, also.

Then, later, the nothing ran the errand it had intended to do just after Mass, prior to the lunch and conversation invitation. And then, the rest of the day slithered, and the whole day seemed it had snaked its way out of time, never to be allowed a bask in the sun again. One distraction led to another, and another errand was done, which at least brought some good for a charity.

Today, the nothing got up and went to early Mass, then confession, then back to Agnus Dei, having prayed the Morning Office while still in the chapel. Then some correspondence, and editing, and cleaning a bathroom, and editing, and reading about St. Francis de Sales--very good information and so helpful, then editing more, then watering the orchids, then getting a package ready to mail and writing two notes, then making a dental appt. and going for a walk and praying the Luminous Mysteries, then doing dishes, and reading, editing, correspondence, and writing, and more reading before bed. There was one phone call, and that, too, was a challenge in trying to keep the conversaton of God and holy matters.

Yes, other people need to adjust to the change in conversation, just as the nothing Catholic hermit must adapt to changing the conversation. It can seem self-righteous, perhaps, to bring up that one is learning to not detract and not criticize. It can seem awkward and obvious when one mentions that it had just detracted, and didn't mean to--even if it was to mention a person by name in the process of an example. Then if the other detracts or criticizes, it can seem superior to point out to even subtly defend the criticized party. But there are always good points that can be brought out about those criticized; and the wording can be preceeded or proceeded with, "and I know I have done that" or something similar to tone down the underlying fraternal correction. Or, again, it seems beneficial for now for the nothing to simply bring up the work involved in practicing not criticizing or detracting. By bringing up this point, the conversation is changed, and both are discussing how to counteract criticizing and then of looking for the fine traits. Once one fine point is found in others, the good qualities tend to flow easily.

It is a training of the will, a tweaking of the perspective and attitude, a transfiguration of the soul from uncharitable thoughts and comments, to charitable. And, hopefully, the thoughts and comments will gradually transform into only thinking/speaking of God and holy matters.

If the nothing's attempt at much-needed conversion to the opposing virtue from its vice--if that kills conversation, then no doubt whatever that conversation was, needed to die. It is sad that the habit is so deeply rooted and spread, that others, now, will have to endure the nothing's changed conversation. It may seem that the nothing is boring or a religious obsessive; and, that, dear family and friends and enemies, is the micro-point. Yes, the nothing must come to that point. And in that turning point of transformation to thoughts and words only of God and holy matters, the conversation shall be quite fascinating and lovely and loving...and love; for God is love. Thos who cannot adapt to the change, will find others with whom to chat. But the nothing Catholic hermit must forge ahead, whacking out the criticism and detraction.

Today, compared to yesterday, was good compared to not so good. Today stands in shining preference to yesterday. Why? Today was ordered and focused; yesterday slithered. Within the slithering were good aspects, but those aspects were also on slithery alert.

The nothing Catholic hermit comprehends that some spontaneous activities might be all right, but perhaps it is better to set most matters in a schedule. And, it is best to go slowly into anything, and set the mind and heart and will to the current predominant vice, to its opposing virtue--firmly establishing a formula for self-correction even mid-stream and openly, if that is what it takes. After all speaking of vices and virtues qualifies as holy matters.

Today stands out over yesterday because it exemplfied loving order. It wasn't of a set schedule, but each event flowed from a preceeding one, and these were anticipated. And, it was not out in the temptation of the world, of the errand places, and of what might have been too much time in conversation when a shorter amount would have done. In fact, the last aspects of yesterday's lunch conversation veered into criticism and detraction. The nothing did not bring it up, but the nothing reacted to the other's comments, and gaily held hands and even got to swinging the arms as the words rollicked out of the mouth. Until--until--the nothing said, "Am not to criticize! Must not detract!" It may be extreme, but it works to stop the conversation. And then, there is the part, when possible, of rewording, rephrasing, making immediate amends in bringing up the good qualities and points.

Today stands out as having been the better part; but yesterday had its holy goodness, for learning by means of practice is very good.