Nothing Catholic Hermit's Current Concerns

It is Lent, and the angel stirs the waters of the soul, and Jesus sends us into the waters for healing--but not without showing us what needs remediation for the growth and resurrection.

So, the nothing Catholic hermit has been to confession this week, as the Lord has allowed the soul to be stirred and bottom-silt to rise to the surface. One dealt with critical reaction over the years, to siblings. Well, they started it! They did it first! Yes, so what? The nothing reacted and in thought, at least, developed an attitude of put-down of their weaknesses in a kind of hidden retaliation. It is foul and despicable! So, the nothing confessed this, and again, it is a form of detraction. Detraction doesn't have to be spoken. It can be a subtle reaction or attitude. So what if one is reacting to unwanted provocation? That is no excuse! The nothing was absolved due to heartfelt contrition and determination of amendment. It was advised, of course, to view the many fine qualities of others, of their superior qualities which are many, and to even express these points of admiration to the siblings, when the occasion might present itself. But the important aspect is to consider these superior qualities in the thoughts and image of others, and to praise God for His wondrous creation of all souls. And, the building up must be of sincere content; one must not invent the good traits for false praise.

It doesn't take much reflection to find the superior qualities in other people. And, there is praise to be offered for any persecution or insults from others, for it is a gift from God ("such is God's pleasure"): the gift of humility. It is practice and reminder that one is the lowest of the Leah's. The nothing is but dust; the nothing is the maidservant of the Handmaid of the Lord.
And handmaids are the lowest of all servants. The nothing is lower than the lowest.

Other current concerns have been the prayer life. Yes, the nothing has slid in the daily horarium, in the very hermit life! Too many distractions crept in like the possible dust mites or spores that the nothing is battling in Agnus Dei. The nothing's coughing and allergy-type symptoms persisted, requiring time spent in checking this or that, doing some research, and then cleaning, washing, dusting, sweeping (while wearing a mask!), checking humidity level, replacing filters, doctor visits--all requiring errands for supplies.

Ever since beginning the process of finding a hermitage and settling in, doing much of the planning and purchasing of fixtures, painting, landscaping and moving, the nothing gradually became more tired and manual labor took more time. Early to bed from chronic pain weariness and deadlines for finishing this or that, led to dropping from praying the rosary daily. Then for a time, the Office fell by the wayside. The hours spent in front of the Tabernacle at Church dissipated. The nothing became concerned but kept thinking that once it was more settled, and things put in loving order, the nothing would get back on track.

The nothing mentioned it to the elderly da--the difficulty focusing and in follow through of praying the rosary. He said not to be too concerned, that the nothing was praying in other ways. But the niggling concern remained, as saint after saint read held the rosary as a mainstay. Holding the rosary at night, or praying in groups was not a problem, or saying a heart-felt Ave spontaneously would happen--but it is just not the same, is it?

No. The regular confessor said so. And, also, the nothing was asked if it was praying the morning and evening office. Well, yes, now--the morning and compline prayers. But for a stretch, that had been reduced to night prayers. Thankfully, a monk had remonstrated with the nothing to NOT LEAVE MASS without having prayed the office!

Then, the regular confessor asked about prayer during the day. The nothing said it just prays throughout the day and night.... The confessor asked, "Do you spend time set apart, just for prayer and nothing else?" Well, no. That, too, had somehow trickled out of the horarium.... Ah, this will not do, not at all! The nothing was admonished to take time out, as if God came to the door of Agnus Dei, and the nothing dropped everything to receive this Guest, to offer the best seat and a drink, to remain at His feet to listen and converse--whatever He desired for the visit's length.

Yes, the nothing comprehended. The nothing used to--but, but, but....

What has gotten in the way? Distractions. Maintenance. Editing. Writing. Correspondence. Errands. Human interruptions requiring forms of hospitality?

There should be hours enough for these, if moderated and brought under discipline.

It is time for a more set horarium. The Order of the Present Moment requires some structure. The dust in the fan flies this way and that. Remove the dust, and the air circulates freshness.
Now the nothing must put the most important--the better parts--in loving order.

The nothing visited the da, and mentioned that the rosary MUST be prayed daily and a holy hour MUST be observed. Well, yes, he said, but still took a soft line with the nothing. Yes, the da is fond of the nothing, and we are true anam cara; but when the nothing persisted (not mentioning out of respect the confessor's solid confrontation) the da did say that he observes these foundations, and says the nothing ought, actually. But, but--he says the nothing is praying when reading these deeply spiritual books. The nothing is praying when editing the poor consumers so unjustly bilked, the nothing is praying when at night on this mission or that.

Yes, but it is not the same. And the da admitted this. Nope, the nothing Catholic hermit had been walking with the right foot off the narrow path, lopping along sloppily, in risk of turning the ankle and falling into the ravine, or even into the sheer depths of the rocky chasm.

Yesterday, the nothing remained at Mass to pray the rosary, read the Morning Office, and to pray some Psalms the canon lawyer had prescribed as a novena--morning, noon, and night--to calm assaults of the evil one. Then, back at Agnus Dei there was some spiritual correspondence and a call--both of young married women in two different states, whose parents/in-laws were punishing them emotionally for having left the nest, basically. Then financial dealing, then a need of the cousin to meet. And there the nothing committed the sin of detraction in discussing the young women's situations, for the wrongs of their parental persecutors were mentioned. Then a call from an adult daughter to discuss arrangements for a visit. Then and hour to edit, and then to adoration--but into the confessional to deal with the sin of detraction, so no focused adoration, after all. Then to soup supper and no sin of detraction, thankfully, in the discussion, and then Stations. Then home to two more spiritual correspondences, and praying the novena Psalms, and reading Colossians 3 in union with one of the upset young women, and into bed in exhaustion from the efforts of the chronically pained body still trying to deal with sinus and allergy and, well, the physical pain never-ceasing in the body.

No hour of contemplative prayer. But, there was 15 minutes utilized after Stations, prior to the priest locking the doors and turning on the alarm. The nothing mentioned the faltering reality to this priest, upon leaving, and he also said there can be no substition. He used a word that the nothing now cannot conjure, but it had to do with, in a way, the Trinity--or that is how the nothing's mind connected with what he said. It was something to do with keeping the priority of the basis. And the nothing considers the Trinity the basis. So it is holy hour, rosary, Sacraments as the nothing Catholic hermit's trinity daily.

The nothing mentioned, also, that this is far more challenging for this hermit, to go to a Lenten soup supper. Perhaps the hermit should not be at the soup supper? No, said the priest, the hermit must go and provide spiritual conversation for others. He was adamant. So the nothing then said that it is far the greater challenge for this hermit to be so hidden, to not wear any reminders of its vocation such as a habit or cowel or noticeable scapular, to not be known at all as a hermit by anyone. The priest replied that there is not the help of having others perceive the hermit as a hermit, and thus for the hermit to have the benefit of being reminded to live up to other's expectations. So, this is the greater challenge, for the hermit must pull itself up by the boot straps.

The nothing Catholic hermit, must be the genderless soul, in nothingness, resting within the Sacred Heart of Jesus--living the better part from within, in hiddenness, for the love of God. The nothing must live up to God's expectations, for and by the grace of God. The nothing Catholic hermit must keep the hermit's trinity, first and not last.