Taking a break from editing, the Catholic hermit is also dealing with increased physical pain. Noon Mass highlighted the admonition in I Samuel on obedience being more desired by God than holocausts, on praise desired over burnt offerings. A prayer offering was made for a very disturbed soul begging help from its demonic curse in a comment on a different blog.
The Lord is so good to provide writings of saints, to provide His Word, to provide the graces of intellect and heart to help the soul grow. St. Silouan shares his thoughts on Christ's commandment to love God with allt he mind and heart, as a basis for ascetic mental quiet.
The man who has come to know the love of God will say to himself: I have not kept this commandment. Though I pray day and night, and strive to practice every virtue, I have failed in the commandment of love towards God. Only at rare moments do I arrive at God's commandment, though my soul longs at all times to abide in it. When irrelevant thoughts intrude into the mind, the mind is then concerned both with God and with them, and so the commandment to love God with 'all' they mind and 'all' thy herat is not fulfilled. But when the mind is entirely wrapped in God, to the exclusion of every other thought: that is to fulfil the first commandment, though again not completely.
Stubborn attempts at inner quiet are very difficult. Spontaneous acceptance of the suffering of attempting to quiet one's mind is said to attract God's grace. Yes, we are trying! But the striving must be done in a spirit of humility. For the Staretz, to know God was to share in His Being.
There really is not a set technique. It is a matter of letting go of self, perhaps. Or of lying in stillness, or sitting if one does not have severe pain that hinders sitting! As the Spiritual Da said awhile ago, it has taken him 60 years as a priest to now have the time to just ponder God. Quieting the thoughts is not getting rid of thoughts, but of having thoughts of God. Then, if God chooses to still those thoughts of Himself, that is up to God! As a human, one cannot one's own, love God with totality. There is always self unless God removes the last vestiges of self--temporarily, that is. We always come back into this place, this body, this mind, this heart.
But God loves our desire to want to love Him with all our heart and mind, and He loves our attempts to do so. It comes from, back, and around to: love of God and God's gift of love to us. There is a suffering involved in the reality of our ineptitude, and suffering begets love; love begets suffering.
Once, while praying and desiring Jesus very, very much, the Catholic hermit had a little visit from Mary altar and the Tabernacle, conjoined in mist. A voice said: You will find Him in your pain.
The pain can be of any form or type of pain, and even a momentary pain. But if one desires to find him, He is surely there. It is thus that one can come to love suffering.
It is all very humbling, all this.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment